Archive for the ‘not my love story’ Category


Partial State of Undress (6)

April 11, 2012

Dreamer woke up with a palm pressed against his mouth. his lips tasted something alkaline, to the point of being bitter. he smelled what seemed like his favorite hand cream. The room smelled of burned cigarette butts.

His back felt like being plastered to the bed with sweat. between his legs, he felt something cold, icky and creamy.

He heard a deep panting, a loud snore, and the thrall of two electric fans. It was dark, so dreamer couldn’t see a thing, he prayed for light and a passing car illuminated the environment to show a large figure attached to the hand shutting his mouth. it was wearing a white shirt, had scruffy hair and a sweaty face, the most important fact was that it was looming on him. He struggled.

“It’s just me!”, The person whispered.

And before the light left the room, he noticed it was Catch. Dreamer removed the hand that shut his mouth and brought it to his own sweaty chest.

“What are you doing?” Dreamer asked.

“Um, well…” Catch looked to his left, looking for a way to explain.


“You were having a nightmare, and you were groaning. I covered your mouth to stop you from waking up the whole house.” Catch replied.

“Yeah, I kinda remember now.”

“You want water?”

“No, I’m fine.”. Dreamer positioned his arms to help him sit up.

Catch reached around Dreamer’s back and helped him up.

“Your shirt’s wet. i should get you a fresh one.”

“It’s fine, thank you.” Dreamer smiled at Catch.

Catch kissed Dreamer in the forehead, and sat properly beside him. He extended his arm around Dreamer’s neck, positioning it comfortably. “Wanna tell me about your nightmare?”

“It was really weird. I’d been bird-watching at a mountainside. It was beautiful. Filled with light, sounds, and life”

Catch raised his eyebrow. “You were scared of birds? that’s new.”

Dreamer play-punched Catch’s side. “When did that ever happen? weirdo.”

Catch laughed. “okay, go on, don’t let me bother your horror flick. what happened next?”

“Then I heard this scary cawing sound. I searched the area with binoculars-” Dreamer cut himself, “-No, an SLR camera!”

“Wow, nice dream so far.”

“Yeah, I know.” Dreamer laughed.

“Go on, don’t leave me hanging!” Catch nudged.

“Well, where was I? Oh yeah. As I scanned the area with my <italic>digital</italic> SLR camera, the trees started shedding their leaves, the sounds of nature started quieting down, and the winds came to a stop. It started to grow dark as well.” Dreamer sighed. He reached for his pack of cigarettes on the headboard, and lit a stick, he continued as he puffed:

“Then I saw this man sitting on top of a bare and lifeless tree. He sat there looking to his side. He wore a blue shirt and white pants.He then traced a line from his neck, down to his navel. and as he did that, his shirt started getting ripped, and change color – From blue to red!”

Catch frowned slightly. “Another boy in your dream? you cheat.”

Dreamer laughed. “I was only looking. I didn’t touch him. Nothing happened. ”

Catch slapped the boy’s head and laughed as well.

“Moving on, he face changed expressions as well. from being peaceful and calm, to angry. Very, very angry. I don’t know why, but I got so scared, and I stopped looking at the camera. I lowered it down,and looked at the tree again. It was them that I saw him, literally a few inches from my face. I was so scared. It was then that I woke up, and you were ganging up on my mouth.”

Catch showed interest up until the last statement, which was when he looked down. Dreamer noticed this and raised an eyebrow.

“Why were you doing that anyway? Shouldn’t you be waking me up or something?”

“Ah! that’s the thing. I told you to wake up. Then you started groaning louder.”

Dreamer shook his head. “Your trail of logic still doesn’t make sense. Why were you pressing down on my mouth?” It was Dreamer’s turn to notice something else. “Where’s your short? why aren’t you wearing shorts?”

Catch took Dreamer’s cigarette and puffed, as he blew smoke towards the window he said: “You’re not wearing shorts too.”

Dreamer looked under the sheets and saw the same state of undress as Catch. He remembered the icky feeling between his butt cheeks.

“You prat! you were doing me while I was having a nightmare?!” Dreamer now punched Catch’s chest, the play part removed.

“I thought you were awake, or at least close to being awake! You were moaning for heaven’s sake!”

“I was groaning because of a nightmare!”

Catch laughed. Dreamer laughed too.

“Horny prat.”

“deep sleeper.”

dreamer – chapter five

catch – chapter four

friend – chapter three

books – chapter two

the next day – chapter one


dreamer (5)

January 22, 2012

He was looking at a fascinating sight. A mountainside, with various trees and even varying shades of green. Even better was the fact that some of them were littered with color: blasts of yellow, bursts of red, lashings of purple and spots of pink.

As the wind blew cool morning air, the petals of some of these colorful flowers joined in, and danced in the air. He smiled.

It was a bright sunny day. The sky was clear and looked as if it were a part of the ocean floating in the air. The sun had been beating down on the good earth, and all of nature basked in the rays. He was protected by the shadow of the tree he sat beside of.

He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. Even in the darkness, the colors of the scene crept up his nose. The damp brown earth, the green blades of grass. The whitish bark of the caring tree, even the bright yellow sun.

In the darkness, the sounds of the world spoke of life. He could hear the orchestra of birds, the rustling of the leaves, the howling of the wind in his ear. He could hear the buzzing of the bees, and the chriping crickets.

He stretched his arms and allowed himself to fall back towards the damp earth. Some of the grass blades pierced his shirt, he felt the cool sheet of dew on the ground. the velvety leaves of a bush teased his fingers. Upon freeing his feet from their locked position, he stretched both and felt the stubborness of hard rock.

His eyes were met with a bright light, however, when his eyes adjusted, he saw the most peculiar play of light he had every seen.

The branches and leaves of the caring tree that provided him shade had lost color, and in between these branches were patches of light. as the leaves danced with the wind, the patches of light shifted, creating a sea of light and shadows. fascinated, he reached to his left and pulled his digital SLR camera.


He sat up. While brushing off grass that stuck to his shirt, he heard an unusual chirping sound. slowly, he looked from side to side looking for the source. It seemed to come from something very big. He scanned the nearby canopy using his camera. The chirping stopped.

Lowering the camera, he thought of how sad it was, losing the opportunity to have at least taken a picture of that ominous creature.

Looking back at the mountainside, he noticed how the color of the mountain was fading away. the greens, yellos, reds, purples and pinks were being dragged by the wind. The earth was steadily becoming silent as well: birds have stopped singing, the bees have stooped buzzing. eventually, even the wind stopped howling in his ear.

He noticed a steady shadow creeping over the landscape. He looked up and saw a large dark cloud conquering the blue sky. looking back down, the bare trees appeared sharp and malicious. Then he saw it.

A bright speck of blue sat unmoved atop one of the barren trees on the mountainside. he took to his camera again and focused on the blue speck.

He was surprised to find out that it was a bright blue shirt. Even more surprising was that it was worn by a man sporting white pants. the man had a young, peaceful, fresh look that had been facing the direction from where the dark cloud came from.


When the camera had refreshed, he looked at the screen again. The young man’s face changed into a pained expression. as he was about to take another shot, the man faced him, and saw anger. deep, rooted anger. He was stunned in place.

The man looked directly at him, eye to eye. he noticed the man put his right hand on the collar of his shirt and folded all fingers except his index. Then slowly, the man dragged his finger down. As it was happening, the shirt was being cut open along the very same path. as it happened as well, he noticed the man’s face become more and more angry. his skin darkened. the color of his shirt changed color as well, to red.

As the man’s index finger reached the top of his white pants, the wind stopped, and the cloud had fully covered the sky: everything stood still.

As the boy firmly held the camera between him and the man, he heard the other speak loud and clear:

“Wake up!”

he heard it as if the man were only a few feet away. a cold shudder rand along his spine. In fear, he lowered the camera slowly.

He wished he hadn’t. He found the man standing directly in front of him.

The boy screamed.

catch – chapter four

friend – chapter three

books – chapter two

the next day – chapter one


catch (4)

October 24, 2011

A wall was changing colors, providing what could be called as illumination in a very dark room. It had been reflecting lights from a laptop screen. It was quiet, except for 5 distinct sounds:

Two old electric fans stood buzzing. One directed at the area of the laptop, another aimed to cool the resident of the bed on the other end of that dark room.

A loud snoring from the occupant of the said bed, who unfortunately makes loud grunting sounds every once in a while.

The cracking and burning of tobacco leaves from a lit cigarette.

Lastly, the muffled laughter from the person holding the cigarette, the very same person watching a movie from the said laptop.

This person, Catch, sat in the other bed of that room. He rested his back at the color-change wall, his left hand holding an ashtray, his right equipped with the cigarette.

He was watching some clips. a funny short about various newscaster bloopers posted at youtube. Watching, trying to release the tension of this morning’s argument. He didn’t want to wait until June before they move. He wanted them to move out immediately.

The antics of the people in the clips he was watching appealed to him. he wished it was day time so he could laugh with all his heart. Everyone was already asleep, and he didn’t want to wake up any one because of his laughter. So instead, he giggled like an elementary school girl. doing his best not to make any sound, and yet not compromise his appreciation of the laughable things people do on cam.

Catch thought of his catch. Maybe that person had a point, he thought. He smiled. That kid had some sense. He’d never known anyone that has the same interests as he does. The same argumentative hunger, the intellectual depth, the artistic feel. Somehow, he could not stop thinking about him. He glaced to his left, his catch lay there beside him. crumpled on his side, like a sleeping baby.

He shook his head and took a puff from his cigarette. the clip now focused on an old man with an infectious laughter. pure 9 minutes of “hyuk hyuk’s” that turned around what was supposedly a show that would entertain him. It was the host’s turn to become a part of the audience.Catch sported a painfully muffled giggle.

He couldn’t help it. He laughed. He felt his catch jerk in sleep. Catch thought that that person would laugh too, had he not already been sleeping.

he took another puff from the cigarette, and drew in stale cigarette smoke. he coughed. There had been no embers anymore at the tip of the stick. he looked at the ashtray, the embers were there. He reached for the pack of cigarettes from beside the laptop, tapped it vigorously against the back of his hand and took a stick. he grabbed the ash tray and had the end of the stick touch the burning tobacco at the bottom of the crystal tray. He drew in some breaths through the stick, and lit the cigarette.

he blew smoke.

The clip ended, leaving him in tears, and with a painful midsection. He was started to sweat.

After a couple of puffs of smoke, an idea hit Catch.

He felt his body react to this idea. His body was agreeing, and in seconds, a warm feeling came over him. Then the typical throbbing that came after.

Catch closed the laptop, allowing the darkness to spill back into the room. He crept his hands towards the sleeping man. eventually reaching into the intimate crevices that the foetal position would notreadily give away. The sleeping man was hard. With Catch’s nimble fingers and strong arms, he freed the sleeping man from the boxers, and held him tightly. He felt the heat permeate his palms and add to his own.

Then he heard a dreamy laughter. His catch was laughing in his sleep.

friend – chapter three

books – chapter two

the next day – chapter one


friend – chapter three

September 25, 2011

“what’s his problem? why’d he hang up?” friend, said. he was seated at the back of a car. beside him lay an orange gym bag. in front was a driver, and on the passenger side were a stack of cd’s. he wore a tattered black shirt, and grey plaid pj’s. he just woke up.

“what’s up with him? he’s so moody.” friend said aloud again. the driver of the car made a witty response. a response we’ll never know. friend was too busy with a text message he just received that he didn’t hear it. too preoccupied to even remember Books’ cancelling of the call.

“i’ll go to manila in 2 months.”

friend ‘s heart raced again. this was it. the fulfillment of the wish. perhaps going back to the philippines was really a wise decision. excited, he blurted a suggestion to the driver.

“cebuano might drop by in two months. can he still crash at your place then?” friend asked the driver.

the driver responded with a jokingly sarcastic retort. something about orphanages and cats, it made no sense to friend. friend was halfway through with a reply to the text message.

he was thinking of how to finish it off. something smart, classy and witty, but not seemingly needy, that’s how he always finished off his responses. always.

the only child of a family that’s consistently on the move friend never had a lot of friends. he’d be happy with one or two. but with the advent of technology and all things fast friend started having a network of acquaintances from all over the world wide web.

ever since he was little, his fascination of colors, shapes, textures and expression of his innermost desires and emotions stirred a strong inclination towards the arts. eventually winging a degree, he sought to work and express.

lastly, he prided himself of not only being inclined to the arts, but also in being intellectually ahead. a true artist, a prodigy. a future icon.

looking at his reply, he was torn as to what he would really want to happen. a significant part of him wanted ‘Cebuano’ to come, two months is definitely something he can wait out. a part of him didn’t: He was supposed to come the next day. not in two months.

he deleted his reply. he erased Cebuano’s message.

“do you have any body sprays with you?” friend asked the driver.

“there’s one at the gym bag beside you.” the Driver then laughed.

“what’s funny?”

“you should’ve taken a bath. you are going to meet someone right?” driver teased.

friend looked at his reflection at the rear view mirror, his hair was disgruntled, his eyes puffy. designer stubble littered his face. he looked smelly. he smelled his shirt, and he didn’t smell cute either. quickly, he zipped open the gym bag, propped his phone inside it, took out the body spray, a spare shirt and blue boxers. he also took out a lime green baseball cap.

“so my gym bag’s your dresser now?”

“you shouldn’t have laughed at me.” friend replied with a grin.

he tore off his pjs and his tattered black shirt. he sprayed a generous amount of body spray to his body. after a great deal of humiliation, and some very difficult show of flexibility, he was able to change into the blue boxers and white shirt. after trying to make his hair follow the makeover that had been happening, he simply decided to put on the lime green cap.

friend looked at the rear view mirror, and satisfied with the results of his on-the-road makeover; he retrieved his phone from the gym bag and dialed books’ number.

books – chapter two

the next day – chapter one


books – chapter two

September 21, 2011

it started with a text message two days before. a message asking for them to meet. they’ve been communicating electronically for 2 years now and they’ve swapped pictures, but they really haven’t met yet. unknowingly, they’ve become the best of friends. subconciously, they had sealed their fates.

but it didn’t actually start until he decided to bring the book somewhere else. his reviewer for an exam by the next day. he didn’t really want to go. he just couldn’t stay at home. the book- that reviewer, would be useless there.

so there he was, sporting his jacket, seemingly sufficient to protect him from the razing cold, but it didn’t. he knew that all parts of him were cold. nothing at that point gave him warmth. not even the prospect of the long-delayed meet up with his friend. he looked at his watch, 12:50 am.

in fact, he wasn’t at all interested. had it been a different day, a different time, a different phase, this meet up would have been met with enthusiasm. a couple of months earlier, or a couple of months later, it’d have been perfect. now was not the time. it’s not even because of the exams.

while waiting at the side of the road – backpack snugly fit behind, slung only by one shoulder – he fidgeted with his phone, the one snugly fit in his pants. with a deep sigh, he thrust his left hand inside the left pocket and pulled out his mobile.

with a disappointed smug, he found it blinking. his friend was calling. He cancelled the call and put the phone back inside his pocket.

books, as we’ll call the guy for now, looked around him. on his side of the road, no one was visible. aside from the parked vehicles and the stray cats, it seemed he was alone. On the other side however, people were there. he laughed. maybe it is true that the grass is greener on the other side, books thought.

in that respect, books’ friends considered him weird. he always thought of the damndest ideas, the most unlikely of possibilities. like the time he tried to use cooking oil as a form of sunblock. Or when he agreed to stick with his partner, who had another guy, and decided to just arrange it as a three-way.

books cupped his right jeans pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. inside it he took a stick and a lighter. he placed the crumpled up filter end and cupped his left hand around the lighter’s mouth. he flicked his lighter. as he pressed the yellow flame to the end of his cigarette, the flame died.

he tried again. “fuck!”

the very first word we’ve heard books say.

“fuck!” he says again, after giving it another unsuccessful try.

and another.

and another.

as he took the cigarette from his lips, he made a sharp inhale of air. the filter end accidentally stuck to his dry chapped lips. he crumpled the cigarette and threw it to the ground. he placed the lighter back inside the cigarette pack, and replaced the pack back to his right pocket.

he noticed that the number of passing cars had been thinning down. he glanced at his watch, 01:20 am. enough, he said in his mind. he’ll just deal with the house. stay at home. even if he won’t be able to review tonight back there.

the next day – chapter one


the next day – chapter one

September 19, 2011

he was freezing from the wind caused by hurtling cars and motorcycles. the night sky was barely visible, the only lights were dying stars and tungsten streetlamps. with him was a backpack and inside it was a review book. he had an exam the next day.

why was he going to a party tonight then?

this other guy was sleeping, and it was not his bed, not his room. his face nestled in a white wall. he crunched up, in a fetal position, covered by white sheets. his head resting on a soft white pillow. outside had been very humid. inside the room, it was – fine. he had with him a dream, a sort of excitement. he was to start his first job the next day.

why wasn’t he at his own house then?

another guy is sitting at the back of a car, his friend’s car, who’d been driving. he just woke up, eager to fetch a long time friend he’d never met. he only had a white shirt, a cap. he was in his boxers. It was freezing cold inside the car, but he was warm. a lot of thoughts had been racing through his head, he was excited for his friend, but he wasn’t really interested. he had another guy in mind; they were supposed to meet the next day.

why was he fetching someone else then?

this last guy, for now, had been reading. browsing through the internet. he had a lot of plans, a lot of dreams, he was excited. he just caught the man of his dreams, and he was here, sleeping beside him. he was finalizing plans of a move they were to undertake several weeks from that day, and he thought of making it their dream cove. he had nothing to do the next day.